I have often felt deficient in my ability to control my emotions - meditation today was unsuccessful as it has been for the last 2.3 days - I am truly fortunate that today passed without any incident. Captain Kirk (or Jim, as he continues to ask me to address him) continues to be reckless whilst on away missions, and I know today to be the fifth time in the last fortnight that he has been transported to sickbay.

I have been focused on my duties, (as they are increasing due to Jim's stubborn carelessness) even having found that half of the reports that the Captain has filed are incomplete or not to standards, I have progressed through them adequately.

I fear that if I do not find some measure of calm, I may be unable to function as first officer. I approximate that I have 3 standard days until I have due cause for worry. Vulcans do not deal in hope, but as I am half human, I feel that I may treat myself to the implications of the word.

I hope that I will find a solution, otherwise I will lose my focus.

I suspect my lack of rest and control relates to the Captain. After our tenuous peace aboard the Narada and the following 2 weeks, I had assumed (a folly on my part) that he had 'miraculously' -as Nyota would put it - matured.

He has not.

I will retire, and think on this later.

[End Entry]